Fresh Off the Gondola
by The Tsundere Fangirl
Summary: Shylock and Antonio are Italian exchange students in Oxford University who are forced to stick together because they don't know anyone else. When it begins, school seems quite boring-but there's never a dull moment when you're a college freshman in a foreign land. Also, this particular scene's an adaptation of Act 3, Scene 1.


The Mermaid Tavern is erected not far from where its Elizabethan ancestor provided sustenance to the great writers of that era. The affordable food and the aesthetic appeal of the place make it a good place to go when you're hungry, tired, or like this dynamic duo, pissed at the world.

Inside, two students eat like wolves. They're tired of subsisting on dorm food, and this was the cheapest restaurant they could find. At the booth in the corner, they converse in mad fast Italian.

"Damn it all, Antonio, this is the worst week of my life."

Shylock shuffles in his seat, brushing the bangs out of his eyes. Antonio has never been a particular crony of his, but he knows the other boy's mannerisms; he tousles his hair and stares at the walls when he's upset.

"What happened, Shylock? You're generally quite enthusiastic about school," Antonio queries while reaching for more fish and chips.

"You're not helping," Shylock rolls his eyes at Antonio's lame gesture of commiseration. He still bears grudges against him for all the bigoted remarks he would make about his religion in high school, and Shylock knows he's only being sympathetic for appearances' sake. "It's been stressful. Last Monday, I lost my money in the dorm. I'm pretty sure someone stole it when I left the room!"

"Shylock, you should've known better than to leave your-"

"Do I look like I had time to worry about that? I had a million things to turn in that day!"

"I'm pretty sure it was less than a MILLION, Shylock."

"Well, it was pretty damn close. Do you know how taxing this week's been for everyone, especially me? It just gets worse and worse, and I'm stuck in a Sisyphean cycle of work, work, work! They just LOVE to make us get a truckload of crap done in, what, five days? I have more stuff to do than I can accomplish well enough given the deadline, and because of that I have to half-ass everything, and I can't afford to do that because I have to make the grades!"

The restaurant is full of people, and Antonio doesn't want to be part of a scene. As he tries to calm Shylock down, he reminds himself to not go anywhere with his fiery-tempered roommate in the future.

But the boy is on a roll now, and unless God in his infinite goodness comes down from Heaven and makes him quiet down, nothing can convince him to shut up. "Well, none of these people can understand me anyway! Who cares?"

"Maybe you just need to manage your time bet-"

"Manage my time, for heaven's sake, Antonio! Teachers need to manage their time better! They schedule all the due dates in a single week, instead of spacing it out evenly. And to add to all that work, I had an extra essay to turn in for Nat Sci. I raise my hand in a lecture, ask for my professor to clarify one thing, and he tells me to do research about it, write an essay, and turn it in by tomorrow. He is a teacher! It's his job to make the lesson clearer instead of making me find things out for myself! For the love of God, I will skin Barlow alive the next time I see him, I swear I will, ugh, I've had it with this system."

"I'm pretty sure you don't have the guts to skin him alive, Shylock," Antonio taunts, giving up on the sympathetic act. "Besides, what would you even do with all that human flesh?"

"Chuck it into a canal, use it for fishbait, I don't care!" Shylock rants, ripping the breading off of the fish for effect. "I'd get a hell of a lot of satisfaction out of that! He added to my workload, stressed me out even more, and pretty much guaranteed that I'll never ask questions in Nat Sci again! And then he complains about all the stuff he has to get done! Don't students have work, too? Students have projects, students have tests, students have worksheets, we're bound by the same deadlines as our teachers! If you assign us work, we have to meet the deadlines! If you assign us more work, we'll get stressed! If you assign us more work than we can get done, we will drop dead from exhaustion! Can't you see this? If you make life difficult for me, I'll make life difficult for you, too! How would you like it if I didn't turn this essay in? That should teach you to be considerate of your students, you bastard."

Antonio was not expecting this outburst. He looks apologetically at the old couple staring at them disapprovingly, and calls for the bill.

Couple stuff y'all might want to know:

-This is a thing I made in Year I, when we took up Merchant of Venice in class. There are many more stories I set in this verse, all loosely based on my own experiences in school.

-There isn't exactly a chronological plot I follow when writing this. I just make more stories when I feel like it. If I decide to add stuff to this, they'll probably be multiple unrelated oneshots that may not be in order. Don't expect regular updates, though.

-The title's a pun. "Fresh" because they're college freshmen, get it? *cricket noises*

-I did my best to somehow show Antonio's bigotry because I believe it's important to include that, but if I ended up erasing some of that I am sorry.


End file.
